Bittersweet Pills

Life - that's all I have been thinking of for a long time now.

I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess it would only be fair to say that I am grateful to be alive. Nah, not saying thanks to "God" or whatever people call it (I don't really believe in them, sorry) but I'm grateful to life I guess. 

It has shown me a lot, taught me a lot, brought me down to my knees, made me grind my nose on the dirt, and also thrown me to Cloud9 whenever it thought I deserved it. In between, I kind of forgot what I wanted and how to be happy for myself, but it has shown me again how to be courageous, has given me the will to be strong, and the strength to fight for my happiness.

Life has taught me that happiness is not to be taken for granted, and that it has to be earned. Much like respect, but maybe a little harder. It has also showed me time and again that tomorrow is promised to absolutely no one, what we have is today and now.

I guess I'm on the brink of a long journey, where I will need to rediscover myself all over again. I know the only way I can do that is by shedding all I am today, by daring to stand naked infront of myself and to start forgiving and loving myself for all my past. 

I need to start by embracing the fact that I am, and always have been, just a human.